Mon 28th May 2018

Full of a cold, not sleeping well, woke early due to a combination of children not sleeping because they were poorly too.

The early morning light is undeniably lovely though, even if I’d much rather have been in bed.

And once Erika had had an extra snooze on me, while Ben had an extra snooze on the sofa, and Charley (lucky thing) actually got to snooze in bed, Erika helped me make breakfast. A combination of sub-par planning and poorliness led to there being almost no milk, no brioche, no cookies, no bread, and only two eggs left and the only thing I could think of to make for breakfast was chocolate microwave cake! Haha. Despite all of us now being full of cold it’s not been an awful day. There has been cake!

Charley and Erika, for all that she yells at him and he provokes her, they do actually like each other quite a lot. Coming into the room to find them playing with the marble run together was quite special, even when I realised it was mostly her seeing something that the boys have or are doing and wanting it too. “My go, my go!” is one particular new phrase. She regularly steals the iPad off Ben, much to his frustration.

Speaking of speaking, she’s suddenly turned her attention to speech development! She reads books with Steve and has started making far more identifiable sounds for things. Hurrah for speech, but booo for disordered sleep as she processes it all!

I have had an utterly bleh day, not really coping with being talked to (but dealing with it because I couldn’t just switch myself off from the kids), and was grateful when Erika decided that sleep was the best option in the early afternoon. The boys get willingly dosed up on paracetamol to get them through feeling utterly rubbish, but Erika point blank refuses the stuff and elects for boobs and sleep instead. I’ve noticed recently though, that when I’m overwhelmed I don’t react angrily any more. I’m a lot less angry-frazzled. Frazzled, yes, but now I understand why and that I’m not broken, I know there are ways to find balance again so it doesn’t become burnout. Flippin awesome learning so much about myself.

After lunch I spent some time sewing as it was the only thing I was able to concentrate on for any length of time, frequently distracted though, and not getting a great deal done. I think I’m happier with where it’s heading this time though.

And then it was a waiting game, waiting for daddy to come home, hoping he didn’t miss his bus, and looking forward to a fresh influx of groceries! Children suitably surrounded by snacks and drinks, we headed out to the swing seat to sit and breathe together for a bit. Definitely the perfect place for it, down in the corner of the garden, almost in its own little oasis of calm beyond the climbing frame.

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