Thurs 8th Mar 2018

Erika crashed out on Steve while I was out at school this evening. Very cute!

She even stayed asleep through being transferred to her bed! And then before I made it home, she woke up. So, yet again, we are up together, waiting for her to realise that she is TIRED and to go to sleep. She keeps chilling out, going all soporific, and then it’s like she realises that her body is falling asleep and she deliberately bounces herself awake again. Ah well. While I’m waiting, I may as well write…

Today has been hard work. I guess a kind of hangover from the past few days: Monday night’s lack of sleep, plus the stress and anxiety leading up to Tuesday’s meeting with the home education chap, plus yesterday’s mania thanks to the relief of the anxiety caused by the meeting lifting, and today I have battled a tension headache reaching down my neck and into the top of my back, and a stomach ache all day.

Steve got up earlier than normal and had set the fire going on a slow burn for me, and I was immensely grateful for the unexpected luxury of not having a freezy house to wake up to, so I was able to have a slow, unhurried morning and still get everything done. Erika slept in until about 9.30am so the boys were able to play Minecraft together for a bit before they had to adapt to accommodate her.

I did manage to get the cheesecake base made and in the fridge at last this morning, and after I’d cooked lunch I got the cheesecake itself in to bake. It was cooled down enough to try while I was at school but I forgot to sweeten the raspberries that I scattered over the top of the batter and although they look very pretty, they’ve not made the cheesecake taste right apparently. I’ll have to try it tomorrow and see for myself what’s what.

I took myself outdoors to see if some fresh air would help me. Shovelled the start of a path down to the garden and made the start of another potential snowman, checked the mailbox, and came back in to make lunch and to apologise to the kids for having a rough day and not interacting much. While my soup was heating up I daydreamed about what that little carved out path could look like at dusk, with tin can lanterns along the edge… I’ll have to get on with making those lanterns one of these days. Got no shortage of cans!

Still a slow afternoon, playing silly games, watching TV with Erika, trying to listen to the boys, trying to get Erika to go to sleep – but she decided I was the one that needed the sleep, not her. She wasn’t wrong. And if I’d not had school this evening and needed to get ready to catch my bus I would have been more than happy to play along as she tucked me in with her blanket and Bunny.

How does 0degrees manage to feel colder than -9 did last week?! I was shaking by the time the bus arrived, having just managed to hi-five Steve as his bus home arrives about 8 minutes before mine departs.

Walked the second stage of the journey to school to try to clear my head and I’m glad I did, I just about functioned through the class. Just imagine how I could be flying through those lessons with adequate sleep and the chance to do homework / practise…! Katya gave me and Chaine a lift to the station and OHHHH my word her car has heated seats – sooooo lovely, but oh my goodness then I had to walk down to the shops for some groceries before waiting for my bus home and the sudden huge temperature change had me shaking pretty badly!

But home to deal with bedtime. Erika crashed out snuggled on Steve while I was getting groceries, and even transferred sucessfully to her bed, but still woke up again before I was even on the bus home. Which is why I found myself still waiting for her to go back to sleep at gone midnight. To give her credit she was actually trying really hard to go back to sleep for over an hour with no big fussing, just lots of tossing and turning and trying to get comfortable.

Snow is still falling and the snowplough tractors just went past…

Straight to bed for me after that.


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