Sunday 4th Mar 2018

I was struggling to find my own motivation today. Steve dealt with the fire and with breakfast; he’s also put a proper light fitting and lampshade up in the kitchen (instead of the worklamp that was there), dealt with lunch, supervised a playdough session (which I set up) and the resulting cleanup, and fitted a couple of new light fittings upstairs so we can see up there after dark. He’s cleared the ice away from the driveway, and spent a long while fixing the door into the workshed, re-hanging it and sorting out the lock.

I had a shower, and made myself some lunch (leftover chicken and veg and THE tastiest gravy ever), and moped. I wanted to be outside, but if I got ready to go outside, I figured I really ought to just go and take those gifts round to the neighbours to say thank you for welcoming us… I was finding all sorts of reasons why I couldn’t take them yet. Including not have anything to wrap them in – presentation is everything! And I’m just terrified. Illogically terrified.

In the end I discovered that it was that worry about knocking on the neighbours’ doors that was causing the day’s lethargy.

I took some time after Erika went to bed to clean up some of the charcoal sticks (note to self: strip the twigs of bark before cooking them. And maybe use seasoned twigs!) to wrap up into a couple of tiny parcels of artists’ charcoal, using paper from the bundle of newspapers and advertisements that we regularly get in our mailbox to wrap them with, tying with twine; and finishing off the mini cheesecakes with a truffle and some vodka blackberries before wrapping the whole thing up with a box of mini truffles in some newspaper and twine. I don’t often get chance to put things like this together but I really love doing it.

Of course I was just trying to finish writing a couple of notes to put with the parcels when Erika woke up so I had to push through the opportunity to procrastinate again… Completely wracked by self-doubt though. I just don’t have a clue about this stuff. Is it enough? Too much? Appropriate? Is my handmade / homemade stuff up to par, will they like the cheesecake, is it weird giving them a bunch of burnt twigs?! Am I / are we always going to be the incomers, the foreigners? Will we knit into the community? Ohhh the thoughts just circle endlessly don’t they.

But it was worth the effort in spades! Lovely meeting my neighbours again, and getting a few brief chances to use the little danish I know (it’s boosted my confidence a little ahead of my test). Didn’t manage to ask either of them for some extra language tuition but maybe I’ll ask if I see them again…

More pictures from today, when you just can’t get comfy in the duplo box!


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